When Auron and Jecht get stuck babysitting!
by Melfina-girl
Summary: okay, i'm mad, no more useing my ideas without permission! well, i wrote more, you fan fic newbies will love it and you oldies will hopefully remember it.
1. Default Chapter

What happens when Auron and Jhect get stuck babysitting: A really dumb story by Mel.  
  
This is the first chapter of a story in which Auron and Jhect get stuck babysitting the story takes place when Yuna is 6 and Rikku is 3 1/2 .  
  
Discalimer: blah, blah, blah… so sue!  
  
Braska: can I ask you guys something???  
  
Auron: (You just did…)  
  
Brsaka: I need you to wach Yuna, Rikku, and Brother for a couple of days.  
  
Jhect: sure thing! Takin' care of them will be just like waching Tidus!!!  
  
Auron: ……….NO ………!!!!!  
  
Jhect: aw….. come on! It'll be fun!!!  
  
Auron: but……. I hate kids.  
  
Braska: look, if I don't go to this seminar, I'll lose my summoning license!  
  
Auron: ………fine…..  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~(scene changes)*~*~*~*~*~ Al Bhed airship.  
  
Cid: Okay, now Rikku and um…. what's his name again??? Brother! They can't stay up past 8:00 exept on Firdays, they need to bathe at least once every 2 days… Brother is allergic to tomatoes….. and Rikku's favorite show, cibban kenm, comes on at 5:00 and she'll have a fit if she misses it…Blah Blah!!! (Cid and Braska cary on for hours, kind of like when you get your first babysitting job and your parents have to tell you EVERY emergency number ect.)  
  
1 To be continued  
  
Add it to your faves… I'll constantally b adding new chapters!!! 


	2. day 1

Hiya!!! Okay so now I learned to spell Jecht.  
  
Jehct: Yeah!!!!!  
  
Me: however, I'll just stick to calling him big ugly man with a bad tan.  
  
Jehct: Boo!!!!!! Can we get on with this dumb fic?!?!?  
  
Me: no, I need a disclaimer!  
  
Jehct: I ain't doin it!  
  
Auron: I'm not doing it.  
  
Yuna: I won't do it.  
  
Rikku: What's a disclaimer???  
  
Brother: Melfina tuch'd ufh yho uv ic, cra zicd yldc mega ed liw cra fyhd'c du nima dra funmt yht dinh ic ymm ehdu sehtmacc wuspeac...e drehg.  
  
Me: what did he say???  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jecht: cool!!! We get to hang at Braska's 4 a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Auron: but what about the kids???  
  
Jecht: what do u mean???  
  
Auron: If Yuna doesn't like us Braska 'll fire us, Brother has no name and speaks little to no English and Rikku is 3 ½!!!  
  
Jecht: yeah, but he has a big screen with 1,000 channels, a microwave and a filtered pool!!!!!!!!!!! And a computer!!!!!  
  
Auron: machina??? In a summoner's house???  
  
Jecht: dauh… his wife was Al Bhed!!!  
  
Auron:hey, Jecht.  
  
Jecht: yeah???  
  
Auron: what's a microwave?????  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Later at Braska's house*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jecht: Blitz time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna teach these runts how 2 blitz!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Auron: um………..no.*Jecht pushes Auron into pool*  
  
Jecht: opps…sorry. Hey kids, get in the pool.  
  
Yuna: but I just ate, I have to wait 45 minutes!!!  
  
Auron: Help!!! I can't swim and all my armor is causing me to sink!!!  
  
Rikku: I'll save Aran!!!!!  
  
Yuna: it's sir Auron!!!  
  
(Microwave beeps)  
  
Jecht: come on, kids!!!!! The popcorn is ready!!!!  
  
Kids:YEAH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Auron:help…..  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Later that night*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jecht: yeah!!!!!! It's the playoffs and I got a big-screen to watch it on!!!!!!!  
  
Rikku: but my show's on!!!  
  
Jecht: I'll just record it!!!!!! Now press this button… no wait… this one then enter and yes…no (30 minutes later) yeah now press finish and were done!!!! Blitz time!!!!!  
  
Yuna: I hate this show!!!  
  
Rikku: Me too!!!  
  
Brother: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rikku&Yuna: sob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Continues 4 about 5 minutes)  
  
Jecht: alright!!!!! I'll change the channel!!!!!!  
  
~And welcome to the bob show~  
  
Bob: howdy boys and girls!!!!!!  
  
Kids: howdy Bob!!!!  
  
Bob: (off key singing) I luv u, u luv me!!!  
  
Auron: need aspirin…. Now!!!! The singing……mu….s…t….stop!!!!!!  
  
Jecht: (turns off TV.) Kids!!!!!! Bed!!!!!!!!!(Auron goes to tuck in brother while Jecht gets the girls)  
  
Girls: we're sad.  
  
Jecht: Hum…. Blonde jokes make me fell better!!!!!! What do you do when an Al Bhed throws you a grenade? Pull the pin and throw it back!!!!!!  
  
(Rikku throws grenade and remembers to pull the pin)  
  
Rikku: that was stinky!!!!  
  
Jecht: how about the story of the ugly chcocbo? Once upon a time there was an ugly chocobo, he was so ugly everybody died, the end!  
  
Yuna:???  
  
Jecht: Good night!!! 


	3. Moo

Just as the balding monkeys were about to attack, the mutated jiffy-pop man ate the giant Kuja and the sock monkeys threw Jecht into another dimension. He was underwater and he saw chibi-Tidus.  
  
"Daddy!!!!!!!!!!" Tidus yelled.  
  
"Tidus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Give me some jiffy-pop!!!!!"  
  
"No!!!!! Son, I haven't seen you in forever and all you want is jiffy- pop??? Don't you love me???"  
  
"I HATE YOU!!! NOW SURNEDER THE JIFFY-POP!!!!!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOO0000000000000ooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Jecht, wake up, you're talking in your sleep and scaring the kids!!!!!!!!" Auron yelled.  
  
"Nobody loves me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jecht started crying like Tidus.  
  
"I love u!!!!!" said Yuna.  
  
"I love u too!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Rikku.  
  
" How DAAARREEE you!!!!!!! You only love me for my jiffy-pop!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Jecht, you're scaring me now, please stop acting like a rabid dog!!!!!!"  
  
"But the sock monkeys hypnotized Tidus into hating me and my wife turned into Kuja and that cute girl in the 5th row is no longer single!!!!!!!!!!!" Jecht looked really scary at this point.  
  
(oops… typed wrong… guess I'll change it.)  
  
Auron: Um….. Jecht, I think that blitz-ball hit you in the head a little too hard… how about you sit down.  
  
Rikku: hey, it's 10:00!!!  
  
Jecht: So???  
  
Rikku&Brother: Muzzy time!!!!!  
  
Rikku: We need to expand our vocabulary!!!  
  
Brother: Yht maynh haf funtc duu!!!  
  
Rikku: That's what I sayed!!!  
  
Yuna: Oh no… not the green throw rug of doom!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Muzzy: Hello, I'm Muzzy, big Muzzy!!! Look, it's my good friend, Norman!!!  
  
Norman: Good morning!!! I'm Norman!!! Good morning!!! Good morning!!! Good morning!!!  
  
Muzzy: Muzzy big, Norman little, Big, little, big, little (continues for about an hour)  
  
Shopuff big, chocobo middle, moggle small!!!  
  
Auron: *Takes remote and turns it off* Okay… that was "special"…  
  
Jecht: no, no, the box says it's "A new and unique way to teach your child how to speak and understand an exiting new language!"  
  
Brother: May we see a film???  
  
Jecht: Sure!!! I got the paper right here and I wanna' see this one!!!  
  
Auron: The kids are to young for this, heck I don't even think I'm old enough!!!  
  
Jecht: Why can't we?  
  
Auron: Give me the paper, " Rated NC17 for advanced blood and gore, nudity, and strong and constant language!!!"  
  
Jecht: Well, mabie we'll have to leave Rikku….  
  
Auron: GIR!!!!! ARE YOU THAT STUPID!!!  
  
Jecht: *shrugs*  
  
Yuna: I wanna' see My Little Bunny!!!  
  
Jecht: *looks and paper* 3 hours of cute fluffy bunnies???  
  
Rikku: *Nods* Yep!!! I wanna see it too!!!  
  
Brother: Hu fyo!!! E fyhhy caa Revenge of the Blood Sucking Monkeys !!!  
  
Jecht: MEEEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Auron: Fine, I'll sit through 3 hours of fuzzy bunnies and you get to see your mutants eat people. Happy???  
  
Jecht: *nods* Yep!!!  
  
Brother: Lyh E ehjeda so vneaht Rin???  
  
Auron: Sure…fine….  
  
  
  
He he… I'll write more if I get up to 20 reviews!!! Thanks 4 no flames!!! 


	4. day 3 or..... 2 1/2..... something like ...

Any way… after about 4 hours of riding to the movies, because they had to ride chocobos, a fiend with game shark quality stats (9,999,999 hp and such) attacked.  
  
Rin: I'm going into overdrive!!! Attack: bad accent of death!!!  
  
Fiend: MY EARS!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!  
  
Overkill!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rikku: Isn't he the bwest fwend to have around eber???  
  
Auron: Help… Me… can't…hear  
  
~*~*~*~*2 hours later at the movies ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Minimum-wage worker: Like, hi…I'm Yolanda …. What do you want??  
  
Auron: 2 kids and 1 adult to the sub-titled version of the blood sucking monkeys and 1 adult 1 kid and 1 under 5 to see My Little Bunny…  
  
Yolanda: that will be 500 gil…  
  
Jecht: *cough* rip off *cough*  
  
They all walk inside  
  
Jecht: LOOK!!! WERE IN HEVEN!!! THE SNACK BAR SELLS JIFFY-POP!!!!!!!  
  
Auron: oh for Yevon's sake…  
  
Jecht: *runs up to snack bar*  
  
Katrina: Hello, I'm Kat, what horrible junk food my we have the pleasure of serving you?  
  
Jecht: 50 extra-large jiffy pops!!!  
  
Katrina: that will be 10,000 gil, have a better day than mine…  
  
Auron: Why did you just spend that much gil on popcorn???  
  
Jecht: because I have Braska's credit card.  
  
Auron: oh…okay!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jecht: now, for the best part of the entire film!!!  
  
Brother:???  
  
Jecht: The previews!!!!!!  
  
Brother: E mega suhgaoc!!!  
  
Jecht:?????  
  
Movie: (translated) and now…… Revenge of the Blood Sucking Munkys, subtitled in English. (I'm tired of writing in Al Bhed, so I'll just translate 4 a while)  
  
Brother: COOL!!!!!!!  
  
Rin: COOL!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jecht: COOL!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~  
  
(the fuzzy bunnies are: Kemi, Timmy, and Jimmy)  
  
Auron: omG…. This movie is such a bore…  
  
Rikku: Wow!!! Cool!!!  
  
Yuna: So touching…  
  
Jimmy: But Timmy, you can't die!!!  
  
Kemi: We love you!!!  
  
Timmy: That's okay…. Just tell mommy I love her…….X_X  
  
Then, the magic monkeys resurrected Timmy, the end.  
  
Auron: *sob* that was soooooo heartbreaking… I laughed, I cried, I ate.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Munky: Mmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Jecht: *puts hands over kids eyes* You can't see this, too violent.  
  
Brother: Darn…………..  
  
Jecht: oh, what the heck, you kids can watch!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rin: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~Later, at Braska's place~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rin: can I stay over tonight???????????????  
  
Jecht: sure!!!!!!!!!  
  
Auron: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~Later that night~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Auron: so…… what do your parents do 4 a living.  
  
Rin: My mom is a singer!!!  
  
Jecht: (with his voice???)  
  
Rin: and my dad sells pointless t-shirts!!!! You can have one free!!!! I brought some over!!!!!!!  
  
(the shirts are)  
  
Jecht: Monkeys are fuzzy, as is the cheese in the back of my fridge, and my vision and memory.  
  
Brother: Meva'c y kyntah; tek ed.  
  
Rikku: E't ayd rykkec vun oui. (I'm a Rikku+Rin fan, 100%)  
  
Auron: Yevon eats cheese!!!!!!!!!! What kind of evil t-shirt is that??? Yevon is lactose intolerant!!!!!!  
  
Rin: Exactly! (Death to Yevon!!!!!!!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*The end~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Claimer: anything that doesn't belong to squaresoft is mine, don't take my stuff or make some loony spin-off.  
  
Until next time, this is Mel, signing off. 


	5. more moo

Okay, I own everything in this story that doesn't belong 2 squaresoft or "blockblister" or blockbuster.  
  
  
  
And you thought I'd stopped writing…. Nope, the madness goes on!  
  
  
  
Auron: well, I'm tired, and I know I shouldn't do this but… I'm going to bed and Jecht will watch the kids.  
  
Rin: lets swim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rikku: yeah!!!!!!  
  
Jecht: okay, get your suits on!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Anyway, brother learned English and now we call him Bob.  
  
  
  
Bob: I'm frightened!!!!!!  
  
Rin:*pushes him in pool* oops, sorry my friend. *jumps in*  
  
Rikku: yeah!!!!!!! *jumps in pool* fun!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yuna: cool!!!!! I love this!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jecht: *sob* I miss my chibi-Tidus…………oh well, I'll just swim!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anyway, they swim until the kids nearly die… but Jecht saves them! (LOL, Jecht is really one of my fave characters, but… Jecht+ a bunch of random kids= nearly funny fic)  
  
Rikku: um… dad, I mean… uncle Jecht?  
  
Jecht: yeah?  
  
Rikku : why are we swimming? It's already midnight!!!  
  
Jecht: um……………………… bed time!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bob: *censored* sister.  
  
Jecht: young man… time out!!!!!!!!  
  
Bob: but you said it was bedtime!  
  
Jecht: then… you're grounded as soon as Cid takes you home.  
  
Bob: *censored*!!!  
  
Jecht: I'm gonna pull out that mop you call hair!!! (lol, maybe I'll write a Cid fic)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~the next day~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mizz Rin's sis: thank ya kindly for watchin my lil baby-poo! *leaves with Rin*  
  
Jecht: WHO'S UP 4 BLOCKBLISTER????????  
  
Bob: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *breathes* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
Rikku: okey dokey!!!  
  
Yuna: um…. okay!  
  
Jecht: okeyday… u kids can rent one thing each.  
  
Bob: can I have this???  
  
Jecht: Grand Theft Auto 3??? Is this a kid friendly game???  
  
Bob: oh… yeah! It's about um…cute fuzzy bunnies and… the zoo!!!  
  
Jecht: but what's with the guy and the gun???  
  
Bob: um… the zoo animal's quest is to end violence!  
  
Jecht: oh… okay!!!  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~* will Bob learn the colorful language in GTA3? Will Jecht get a life? Will I? Stay tuned 4 the next exiting chapter! 


	6. much more moo!!!!! aka: in witch the aut...

Hello, this chapter picks on Auron a bit and is kind PGish, enjoy my writing!!!  
  
  
  
Rikku: ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my Gwad!!! Auron: okay, Rikku, what chibiish piece of crap could you possibly want. Rikku: * holds up a box that says "my little bunny, the perfect collection volume one, episodes 1-4" * Auron: fine. Yuna??? Yuna: * holds up Barbie's magic puppy for game boy* Auron: fine. what should I get... hummmmmmm *looks for a bit* oh. this looks good "My girl the summoner", a story about a summoner and her really cute boyfriend-guardian. Cool!!!!!!! Jecht: *giggles* Auron: What??? Jecht: that's a chick movie!!! Auron: is not!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
And so, they started to argue, and it went like this (A for Auron and J for Jecht)  
  
J: Yes! A: no! J: Pepsi twist! A: vanilla coke! J: Gundam, Outlaw Star, Zoids, NGE, Tenchi and Cowboy Bebop!!! Princess Mononoke! A: Pokemon and Hamtaro!!! (ooc) J: boxers! A: briefs Bob: hanes! *Auron and Jecht stare, and then continue * J: Moogles! A: Chocobos! J: night! A: morning! J: puppies! A: kitties! J: Faye Wong!!! A: Rikki!!! J: Peace, love and. A: sake! Um. I mean.. tea? J: this isn't some toonami Tenchi dub. A: is! J: isn't! A: Moo!!! J: chezi munkiz! Occ Rikku: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!  
  
Jecht: um.. okay!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jecht: finally were home.. what the hel *gets cold look from Auron* ..eck is that??? Auron: O.O J..JJJJJecht? Jecht: yeah??? Auron: we. forgot to give the kids a bath!!! Jecht: k-k-k-kids? Kids: yes??? Jecht: go take a shower! Yuna: bath!!! Jecht: shower!!! Yuna: bath!!! I WANT A BATH, NOT A STINKIN' SHOWER!!!! *STARTS TO CRY* Jecht: but you smell too bad for a bath, and you need a hair wash. Now come on kids, everyone in the shower!!! Bob: um. like, I'm 10 and can kind of bathe myself, *almost to himself* now if Yuna was 12, it would be a different story. Yuna: what??? Auron: *slap, hard* Jecht: *sees old summoning rod* I've got an idea! Yuna went with Braska to Aqua temple before it closed down, right? Auron: yeah, so??? Jecht: so she can summon Leviathan! Kids! Get in your swimsuits! So, after rubbing soap all over the kids he made Yuna summon Leviathan and wash them off, but Yuna slipped on the tile floor and her eye popped out of socket, so they got her a new one but it was green so she had one blue and one green, so 2 days later.  
  
Yuna: *lying in bed playing game boy* Bob: *trying to find the right hook-ups for the ps2 he brought* Rikku: *watching my little bunny Yuna's room with her* Jecht: *staring at the fridge, in hopes of getting food* Auron: *watching stupid movie* Alright, in the movie the characters were Moo the guardian and Cow the summoner.  
  
Yunalesca: you only have one guardian so he must be your fayth. Moo: *gets scared but then sees Yunalesca's um *cough cough* and starts wondering how he'll become a fayth* Cow: no!!! let spria die!!! Yunalesca: end the world for the life of one man? Cow: this man is my world!!! *dramatic music starts playing* Moo: no, use me to save our families, friends and me!  
  
Cow: but you'll die!!! Moo: but I'd never forget turning back, we've come too far to go home.  
  
Blah, blah, blah! Anywho, they both die in each other's arms, the end.  
  
Auron: *gets big teary eyes* Jecht: no! Auron: *a tear falls* Jecht: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Auron: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! *sob*  
  
OOCFULLNESS  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Bob: alright! Found the right hook-ups for the ps2!!! GTA3 TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jecht: let us watch!!!  
  
15 minutes later  
  
Bob: aw. *beep* , she won't get in my car!!! Auron: um, Jecht. don't you have something to say about this game??? Jecht: Yes, I do... Let me play a level!!! Auron: *face vault*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* THE END ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Review plz! Flames boost my ego on how stupid people are!!! ^.^ The more reviews the more work I'll put into the next chapter and the faster I'll do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Mel~ 


	7. gasp, i wrote something

Hey kiddos, I'm back!!!  
  
Jecht: aw *beep* she probably needs a new car.  
  
Bob: hey, she's my *beep*!!!  
  
Auron: oh yevon, I'm not hearing this.  
  
Yuna: it's time for my eye drops!!! Oh, what's that pretty lady in her undies doing with the man with the nice car???  
  
Auron: playing Parcheesi.  
  
Yuna: is that like chez munkiz???  
  
Auron: Yes.  
  
Rikku: Bad man's car go vrrrrrroooooommmmmm!!!!!! Beep beep!!!  
  
Auron: no, Rikku, machina bad, Yevon good.  
  
Rikku: *sticks tounge out* Me no like you!!!  
  
Jecht: shoot, you does this Luigi mean me and the hot chick's relationship has to be strictly friendship???  
  
Auron: THAT'S IT, KIDS, BED. JECHT, YOUR GROUNDED!!!  
  
Yuna: Yes sir, but may I please have my eyedrops?  
  
Bob: But I have to check my e-mail!!!  
  
Auron: *gasp* BBB-BED!!!  
  
Rikku: But the 24 hour my little chocobo marathon comes on tonight!!  
  
Jecht: bbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbboooooooopppppppppp!!!!!!!!! 3 hour marathon!!! You can't make me go to bed!!! I'm a big boy!!!  
  
Auron: fine, every one but Jecht go to bed. I need pain killer. extra strength.  
  
Jecht: YEEEEEEEE HHHHHHAAAAAWWWWW!!! Space cow-pokes, all fear the great Spike!!! Bob, take this toilet paper roll, it's your sword and I'll use my fists to beat you, the evil Vicious!!!  
  
Bob, um. Vicious: You took my woman!!! Now die!!!  
  
Rikku, um. Julia: I'm falling. falling. falling. still falling.  
  
Yuna: Power of kung food!!!  
  
Auron: dear lord. help me.YOU nasty cowpokes!!! Jet rocks!!! Die, Vicious!!!  
  
Yuna: Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gotta be ffffffffffrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee!!!  
  
And so, they played until Auron realized what he was doing .  
  
Gasp, I actually wrote something.. Well , the next chapter will be a real treat, I swear! 


	8. the madness is comeing to a close

Hello, kiddos, welcome to the end of the world. Please no flash photography or video recording. Gift shop to the left.  
  
Yuna: *singing "rain"* (sorry to the non bebop fans that are totally lost) I don't hear a sound, silent faces in the ground. Quiet screams but I refuse to answer.  
  
Rikku : Adieu, Spike.  
  
Jecht: Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aa...  
  
Bob: my love died, but I don't care cuz I'm so Jaded!!!!!!  
  
Auron: And baby I'm afraid of you! Da na na na na na!!! (lol , I love that song) *everyone grabs a mic*  
  
Yuna: My, my baaaaaby blue!!! Yeah she's so jaded!!!  
  
Jecht: And I'm the one who jaded you!!! Um. la la la!!! Lovely jaded!!!  
  
Auron: *to self* Well, were butchering a great song but who gives a monkey!!!  
  
Braska: What? Well, um.okay honey.. *looks around* what the farplane???  
  
Random Al bhed chick: Honey!!! Save me *hugs Braska* Oh, hello, I'm Kiki!  
  
Auron: *_*;;;;;  
  
Jecht: Well we were singing and having fun.  
  
Braska: It's 2:41 am!!!  
  
Yuna: *sees other woman* You said you could only love mommy!!! *runs off sobbing*  
  
Braska: Now, dear. wtf happened to her eye!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Auron: this is gonna take some explaining.  
  
Braska: *sits down rubbing his head* I got a headache.  
  
Kiki: Now dear *starts rubbing his shoulders* it's gonna be okay, I'll put the little ones in bed, and you guys can have a talk. *kisses cheek*  
  
Braska: *turns bright red* okay, mitten cake.  
  
Jecht: Mitten cake?  
  
Bob: aw, shi- I mean shoot.  
  
Kiki: now, you're a big boy so how about some cookies and milk before bed?  
  
Bob: I missed dinner.  
  
Kiki: tsk, tsk. Well, how about pizza??? Chocobo bits okay? We stopped by Dr. Doughnut's seafood hut and got some chocobo bit pizza.  
  
Bob: Yummy!!!  
  
  
  
Uh, oh! What will happen next? Read! I command you to review so I can write!!! 


	9. what we need is a techno jerry springer ...

Rin suddenly comes in the door.  
  
Cid: lalalala!!! Come on, babes!!! *holds out arms for girls to hold* sorry it took so lawng!!! Hey Bob!!! Get yur az ovr heer!!! I got you some future wives tu choze frum!!!  
  
Kiki: *almost faints* you kidnapped those kids, didn't you?!?!?!  
  
Bob: No no!!! In our culture daddy finds me a daughter of a friend to marry when I'm older!!!  
  
Kiki: Oh, so your not gonna marry them now?  
  
Cid: You have a sick mind but you look sooooooo.  
  
Braska: *shuffles his feet a bit* She's actually mine. ^_^;;;  
  
Kiki: I'm not yours!!! You just use me!!! WAAAAAAA!!! *sob* *runs away*  
  
Braska: okay.  
  
Cid: We get these over so I can take these kids back to little league???  
  
  
  
  
  
And now it's time for mystery date!!!!!*cheesy music plays*  
  
  
  
Contestent1: (Doram from Luca Goers) likes bullying people, stealing, fighting, and the color yellow!!!  
  
#2: (Kulukan from Kilika Beasts) Likes searching for food, building with her 9 brothers and 4 sisters, gathering coconuts, and the window in her one room hut.  
  
#3: (Judda from Al Bhed Psyches) Likes running, taning, working on her body, um. helthy stuff!  
  
#4: (Naida, Rin's store running chick type person) Likes shoping, deep water swimming, and tattoos.  
  
#5: (Linna, the girl who lost her gang) Likes gambleing, skin fights, cows, interpretive dance, and baceball.  
  
#6: (Bebe, a teenybopper-drooling fan girl I made up) Likes Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Aaron Carter, Bob, Bob, and... BOB!!!!!  
  
Cid: and last but not least!!! *grabs Yuna and wipes of her tears* YUNA!!!!!!  
  
Bob: Um, if I asked you to kiss a dead squirrel while singing the chunky chocobo theme song, what would you say?  
  
#6: MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bob: oh dear God, Dad! Is #6 Bebe? I thought I told you to kill her!!!  
  
Kiki: *faints*  
  
#1: Probably having killed the squirrel myself, I would.  
  
Cid: I thought Kiki left???  
  
Jecht: This is bad fanfiction, remember?  
  
Kiki: Really? Then in the name of the moon I shal make paste and transfourm into: Super Ultra Mega Uber Pink Chibi San Moo Pretty Power Moon!!!  
  
#2: I'd eat the rat, I'm hungry!!!  
  
#3: Rats make a nice cream.  
  
Cid: I thought it was a squirrel???  
  
Auron: Bad fanfiction, it hurts so get used to it.  
  
#4: Forget the squirrel! I'd prefer you! Without the chocobo song! *wink wink*  
  
#5: The squirrel is probably a better kisser!  
  
Yuna: I'd do it if I loved you, I think your more like a brother to me.  
  
#6: Let's forget this and have some fun!!!  
  
#5: He's mine!!!  
  
Cid: Jerry Jerry!!!  
  
#4: He's mine! See, I have a tattoo of him!!!  
  
#3: That's it! I have to do some exercise or I'll loose my skill #2: Let's eat him for his carbs!!!  
  
#1: Free for all fight!!!  
  
Jecht: JERRY JERRY!!!!!!!  
  
Yuna: *ducks* Don't!!! It's too violent!!!  
  
  
  
Yes I seem to be prolonging this fic, there will be a sequil if people start reviewing, next chapter it might be all over! Or not!!! Find out when I have time to write again!!! 


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